2002-08-14, 9:50 a.m.,

Seems like lately everything around me is dying.

My kittie that I've had since 8th grade has mysteriously vanished from my parents home. She's now 12 years old (or thereabouts) and has been missing for about 5 days. I'm a bit bummed out because although I havent lived at home in years and years, she was still a really cool kittie. My parents are out in the woods on a lake basically and have things like bear sittings behind their house. My mom said she was acting really strange a few days before she left. I imagine she's just gone off to die without bothering anyone. Poor kittie.

Even worse, I've been contacting my mom back and fortha and a few of my cousins as well about my grandparents who seem to be having a race as to who can deteriorate faster. Its hard to say who's in worse shape anymore. My grandpa, in the past 2 years has had 2 quadruple bi-pass surgeries as well as had two of the valves on his heart reconstructed. He's now been diagnosed with some form of skin cancer and told he needs chemo. He's 84 and in terrible shape. Maxine and I were talking last night about this. Living 84 years and having the option of either taking pain medication and laying down to let the cancer take over, or enduring chemotherapy. I can understand how after being alive so long you'd want to at least give it a shot to fight it, but what's worse? Giving in to a disease and dying without a fight? Or enduring months of radiation and illness that's certain to make him feel a million times worse than he currently does all in the name of fighting for every last day. Isn't it sometimes better to turn in your ticket and say "it was fun while it lasted?"

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