2003-08-18, 8:16 p.m.,

There's so much I want to say about this wedding thing, I'm just not sure how to say it all in short form, so let me give it a try:

Saturday, it's our plans to catch a cab from our house, leaving about 3:15pm to make it into the city (keeping traffic in mind) by 4:00 when the wedding started. We wanted to arrive a bit early. We do some last minute shopping in the morning getting ready and Maxie makes a hair appointment for 2p.m. to have plenty of time to get ready. At 1:45 she heads to the salon and I hop in the shower to start getting ready. Mind you this is a formal wedding, black tie, everyone in evening wear, so we're putting on our very very snazziest garbs.

2:45 Gwen thinks "hmm..maxie should be coming home now."

3:00 Gwen thinks "Maxie should have really been home by now as we are leaving in 15 mins and she still needs to get dressed and do the make up thing. Gwen calls Salon says "She left 10 minutes ago" Gwen thinks "She should be here by now. Salon is basically down the street.

3:10 Gwen panics because we're meant to leave soon, Maxie should be home, she's left her phone at the house and I'm absolutely certain she's been in an accident or has locked her keys in car, etc.

3:20 Gwen freaks out, undresses back into her jeans and writes a note with Maxine's phone on top telling her to call ASAP. Gwen hauls serious ass to the shopping centre to find Max. halfway down t he street she sees her finally drive by, turns around and hauls ass home. We both dress again, waiting for the taxi, put make-up on in car and make it to the wedding good thing these things never start on time!!!)

Problem was, the hairdresser overbooked and kept my dear lover waiting forever, she in her frustration went to another salon so when I called, she had in fact left 10 minutes ago, just not to go home.

The wedding was in St Marys Cathedral. If you're not familiar with Sydney,it's the St Patrick's of NY, The huge stone cathedral that sits historic in all major cities. A fortune to book your wedding in. We arrive and the thing is huge and the back part is kept empty for the Japanese tourists who come by bus loads to watch the multiple weddings that go one there all day every day. Huge stained glass, pillars and alters, tall towers of thanks to God in this elaborate wedding full of gowns and tuxes and well dressed people..... and on the floor under one of the pews was a dead cockroach. No one saw it but me (and Maxie after I pointed it out. Kinda put things into perspective.

So go on, spend $35,000 on a wedding in the most historic affluent church in Australia. You'll still have a dead insect on the floor and Japanese tourists in the back rows, traffic outside, horns honking faintly in the distance.

Not me, I'm forever thankful we chose that cozy little B&B with 10 people for our Dyke Wedding. Our little garden party beat that ceremony anyday.

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My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
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