2001-08-06, 10:22 p.m.,

i miss abby, theres days i wish i had her back in my life and days i'm glad shes gone. Why? i knew how to define us, i knew exacty where i stood with her, what i was willing to do for her and she to do for me. When she hated me she told me so (frequently) when she loved me she did so with everything she had....and i could tell her i loved her and i could tell her how miserable she made me and i could force her to leave my house at 4 am when it was the drugs she needed more than my love.....but it was definable. Silly i know......i was at work a few days ago and i dotn know why (moment of instability) i couldnt remember how she smelled, and all the sudden that became the most important thing to me, i couldnt concentrate and i got nauseous and i couldnt breathe until i could remember......why do her memories affect me like this?

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