2001-08-29, 2:27 p.m.,

I must be going crazy...no other explanation. I slept horribly last evening, we had a thunderstorm that took the power out and shook the windows with the wind. I couldnt stay asleep for the life of me. I just laid there, katelyn curled into my chest like a small child, her fist all balled up under her chin...shes so ill and I've been busying myself taking care of her, but last night i awoke just wanting maxine there more than anything. I would have given anything I had to have had her with me. I fell asleep and had these dreams. Then I awoke after having a dream of Damien, why him? why does he still plague me? I was still at school and Abby was there and Damien was in my dream, I remember his hands..odd huh? Why cant I hate him more than i do? Shouldnt I hate him more than i do?

Remember when i used to take pictures? remember when i used to write? what do i do now? I seemed to have misplaced my old life somewhere.....you'll let me know if you see it lying around somewhere wont you?

I have so much to do..thikn i can work on inventing the 30 hour day? I just want time to write and photograph and travel again...is that so much to ask? Oh dear, why cant i just get paid to travel write and take pictures? someone must need me for that somewhere dont they?

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