2001-08-30, 1:12 p.m.,

Its been pure insanity here at the office, i decided to skip lunch to take care of my car registration and aklso catch up on emails and such.

Last night was so difficult, katelyn is taking this so personally, asking me what she did wrong, how she can fix things, and i told her it wasnt her it was just me being unhappy here and not feeling that this is home...she says to me "Where do you want me to transfer to?" I explained to her that it wasnt the issue. I just dont know how to explain myself to her. Shes wonderful, she loves me more than anything, shes increbily fun to be around, intelligent, beautiful, i care about her so much, but i just cant explain whats missing and its slowly killing her. Why dont I care about her as much as i wish i could? It just isnt there...

all i do is think about maxine all the time, everty moment of everyday....

My sisters boyfriend is being such an ass...i swear as long as i live i'll never find a guy worthy enough of the women in my life i love....i told kate on the phone last night about Sarah's boyfriend and what an ass he's being and she says to me "wen, you'll never find a guy thats worthy of any girl you know." I said, "perhaps love, but this guy really is a bastard." Is it wrong to make sure those i care about get the best they deserve? I dont think so. Anyway, better get back to selling..gotta make quota in only 4 days.....

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