2001-09-02, 6:50 p.m.,

I found the thing i wrote for abby, not really a story per se, just thoughts kinda, more like recollections and I cant stop remembering things about her now...

I remember one afternoon coming to visit her when she was in NY and of course she didnt show at the bus station so I took a cab to her house and got there, let myself in with her key (which is still on my keychain... why?) I found her in her room, completely high, just lying on her bed looking at me as if i had been standing there for hours and randomly says to me "gwennie, you and I are the worst types of people...attractive, overeducated and raised with a middle class illusion of grandour."

I'll never forget that. then when i didnt respond to her she got all pissed off immediately (mind you I had only been in her apartment less than 10 minutes) and she says to me "do you want me to tellyou i love you?" and i asked her "why would i ask her to tell me if she didnt and she sis the strangest thing, she unbuttoned her shirt, threw it on the floor and asked me to come to her, when i didnt she got so angry at me. Telling me that I lived my life like it was a movie and I didnt do anything unless it was perfect enough for film, thats why I'd never be happy. I walked out and sat on her sofa reading a book, determined not to give into her, she fell asleep and i took the train home, two hours on the train to get to her, two hours back, all for that little scene...she never spoke of it, proably forgot all about it...anyway.....whatever

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