2001-09-17, 6:40 p.m.,

An interesting evening last night. I had dinner with beth and gian and I end up as always chatting with gian for hours about things in general. so he begins asking me about maxine, all kinds of questions about me travelling out to see her, if i'm coming back, how i feel abou ther and then he says to me "do you think your being a bit premature to not try to fix things with kate before moving off somewhere else?" and i told him how i felt about not feeling like i could fix things, then he says to me "well all i know is that if beth were to begin making me feel like i wasnt very important to her and then does a complete turn around and beginds doing anything and everything to remedy that, i'd at least owe her the chance to fix things." which made me feel super guilty and i said "well its different, gian, your married." and he says "is it?" and he dropped it. Bastard, hes biased anyway, he thinks katelyn is the cutes creature alive, she like his little sister....

anyway, that was a bit frustrating. I wish things were easier....i just want to leave and make her happy, why must i constantly have to be made to feel bad for it?

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