2001-09-26, 8:35 p.m.,

I'm not sure if there'll be any sort of consistency in this posting but theres so much on my mind lately and i really dont know how to out it together into anything readable.

It was a circus today at work, unreal..I wont even begin to explain because in the long run and in the larger scope of the world its really insignificaant, but whatever. So what is significant? hmm... oh yeah, my hair. I got it cut today, now thats important. Amy's boyfriend came and cut it for me today, i adore him (ut oh, could it be another boy that meets my criteria for a decent man?) I know, its rare and i dont want to speak to soon, but he's great so far, we had killer conversation and he's so insanely intelligent its so refreshing.

What else? I found myself thinking of amsterdam last night, the event that took place while i was there. I guess its because i started thinking about the song "Anna begins" I know i've posted the lyrics in here before, but i was talking about it, then of course thinking about anie and today i couldnt stop listening to it. I miss her, i miss amsterdam, and know what? I wouldnt change anything that happened there for the world. Yeah it was weird the first night there with both her and christina, but as i was there for awhile and had the chance to have time alone with anie, it was too amazing, too good that i had to come home because I knew it wouldnt stay that way. It'll never make sense.

I think that i'm thinking to much. My big statement for the day. I cant even begin to explain.

I smoked a marlboro red today not knowing what it was and as soon as i inhaled my mouth tasted like her kisses. so i spent the rest of the afternnon drinking tea trying to get the taste of her cigarettes out of my mouth. Why is it silly things like that that will get me all worked up and emotional. Oh yes, and i still must post that letter.

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