2002-09-28, 9:16 p.m.,

So I finally got my dress, I really like it, but I was a bit iffy on the cut of the top, it's a bit um... exposing as far as my breasts go. I thought it might be a little to "hello boys" for a commitment ceremony. Maxie seems to insist it's fine, however I think she may be a bit biased. Anyway, one less thing to worry about now, mark that off the list.

Spent the afternoon with Gab geting fabric to make maxie's dress. And the countdown continues........

On a completely different topic, maxie and I were having this conversation today in the car about how it a bit of a fear for most lesbians that their partners might leave them and go back to dating guys. And I was telling her I I think in a lot of cases it may be true as far as some of my friends and our friends actually have been concerned. But for me mainly with Anie. I was telling max today how i was in amsterdam and how she basically told me flat out that she loved me and wanted to be with me (Anie) but that she didnt want to deal with things like tellin gher family she's with a girl and dealing with all the societal stresses. I remember her saying to me "plus, it's too important to me to have a family and i think it would be too hard with another woman." so basically what she wanted was a relationship with me while i was willing to live in europe with her, but as soon as we both had to come back to america it was back tobeing friends. What was the point? I didnt see any and therefore said so. Three weeks after I went home to the US it became incredibly obvious she was dating someone and i hesitated so long before asking her because i didn't know which would hurt me worse, thinking that she was dating another girl to punnish me for not staying in A*dam, or dating a guy. Sadly, it was a guy..ah yes, as I like to cal him "steve steve, the world's pet peeve." I'm soooo glad they broke up after, god how long 2 years? Blech, hated that guy, but i'm drifting off topic....yeah, anyway, i think maybe that's true for a lot of couples. When I was living in Arizona, I had a really close guy friend who I'd spend so much time with because he was girlier than i'd ever be and we really enjoyed the sames things. The girl I was living with at the time basically allowed the suspicion that we could have had something going on between us completely tear at her. Turned into a huge accusation blowout with a bad ending........

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