2002-11-15, 10:53 a.m.,

last night I had this strange dream where maxine and I were watching this awards show on television (for some reason i think it was something chintzy like the MTV music awards) and I remeber in my dream that Abby was on television with Ben Stiller. (???) Like, they were a couple. I don't understand my brain randomly choosing him. Strange.... It would make more sense if we had just watched a movie with him in it or something. It was weird because she was in this really elaborate gown and her hair was really really long and curly and it barely looked like her at all.

It's weird how I won't think about her for such a long time then suddenly it'll be all these little things like this that just fill my memory. Sometimes I hate how she won't go away. How even in death she drives me mad. Turning my diary into an endless swan song for the dead girlfriend. "Oh yeah, that's the diary of the girl that goes on and on about her psychotic drug addicted girlfriend that died, read it, it's quite pathetic." Bah, I'm being grumpy today.

So to change the subject, we have heaps of travel planning to do for the next few months, which means I have heaps of travel money to start earning. Hopefully after christmas we'll be off to see Francios, January its off to New Zealand and in April hopefully, we can hit a bit of Eurppe (at least get to England and see some people in London)before heading into the US to see my family. I still have photos of the Volcano in Vanuatu and frm our ceremony I haven't developed yet.....better get onto that.

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