2002-12-09, 9:57 a.m.,

What a weekend. I was so thankful to have a full weekend off and I feel like if just flew by so quickly. Gab and Jon's engagement party was wonderful. I met a few really interesting people, had some drunken D&M's (which I learned meant deep and meaningful) conversations with a few people (one including maxie's ex, a bit strange but very good.)

I decided to work on the book I wanted to put together about abby. I started working on it a bit and I'm hoping it'll actually go somewhere. I'm hoping I wont start it as a good intention and let it fall along the way into my "i meant to do that and I had the best intentions pile."

Yesterday I was having one of my "feel bad for myself moments" where maxie and I went out to brunch with jon and gab post party and the three of them were talking about their careers and jobs and just career oriented topics and I relized that for the solid hour they discussed it, I had absolutely nothing to offer the conversation that was at all relevant. I sat there, absolutely hating every moment because I was just feeling bad for myself thinking that I'm wasting a huge part of my life doing a job i don't want instead of working on a career that I have the degrees and education for but can't have because I don't have the legal working status. maxie and I talked about it in the car and I know that its because I'm really in a bit of an extenuating circumstance right now, but still, I'd really love to have a legit job, so I've decided to spend some time researching companies that perhaps I can work through that would be willing to sponsor me and then I can get a working visa long term. I know they are very very few and far between, but they must exist.... somewhere.

We watched this film last night called "Body Shots" and i remembered reading about it somewhere quite some time ago. Basically it's a "He said/She said" account of a date rape case and it maintains that equilibrium of "who's right?" without ever really showing the "true story" Oh yes, I remember the saying, that there is 3 sides to every story, the two of the people involved and an unbiased truth. So yes, you get the two sides, but not the "unbiased truth." Regardless is ultimately was a medicore movie but it kinda had me momentarily wondering as I was watching it what Damien's side of the story would be? And how much our perceptions altered the "unibiased truth" of what really happend, because I firmly know my side of the story, but I'm also a reasonable person willing to accept the fact that perceptions can be unaccurate and biased as well. Anyway.....no need to flood my mind worrying and thinking about things like that, I've got a book to write. ....

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