2003-12-09, 3:50 p.m.,

It's been pretty emotional since I've come home. When we were first driving home we passed by Abby's old house,her parents have sold it since the divorse, but when we drove by the whole place was dark except for her bedroom light. It was a little freaky, like she was still home all alone.

I went to this psychic party with my mom and the guy is pretty famous around here, he works with the NYPD to solve murder crimes and such and he was telling me so many things that were spot on and also gave me a bit of advice for the future. I'm not one of those people who'll base my entire future on what he says, but it certainly was interesting. Right away he told me that I've be taking a trip to England and that I'd be having problems with headaches. I laughed because both of which are going on right now. He actually told me heaps of stuff I'm keen to write down in here just as a record to confirm things and check back later on in the future to see what came true.

Went to my grandmom's grave. I was ok really dealing with my grandmom's death when I was in OZ because I was so far from it, but now that I'm home and seeing my family and mt grandfather and going to their house and not having my grandmom home sitting in her rocking chair, I duno, there's been a few times today when i gotten weepy. At my grandfather's he took me back into their bedroom and asked me to take a necklace of hers and whatever I wanted, It's the worst feeling in the world. If you've never done it before I'll give you first hand advice from someone who's had to do it three times now, twice with Abby's Death and now my gradmom. It's hell. Going through a dead person's belongings and claiming things for your own when you don't want any of it really. It feels horrible, it feels like you're stealing, my grandfather standinf there trying to give me her stuff. I just can't do it, I'm not that type of person.

Tonight we're going to a movie with my mum and this weekend hopefully driving to philly to see my dear Kate.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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