2005-03-09, 10:20 a.m.,

I spent about 90 percent of yesterday being hopeless. I had the worst case of dropsy (where you drop everything you hold onto), stapling my finger, slapping the filing drawer into my leg, getting the wrong Ferry to an appointment I was very nearly late for, unable to get a taxi anywhere in the bloody city. And then I came home to find that because I opened out back balcony doors to let in fresh air, I also let in a bat, who immediately flew to the corner of the room and wouldn’t budge because it was probably terrified of our dog barking.

Little me home alone, chased said bat out of the house back into the night with very little drama, but it was the perfect ending to a crappy day and was enough to make me cry at the end of it. Perhaps out of frustration or relief that it was over.

The only really amazing thing that happened is that I did get to sign my contract. Oh yes ladies and gents, I am officially the Editor of Main Event Magazine, to be launched in June.

“Um, hi Gwen, it’s your old boss Mr Dickhead, I hear you’re the new Editor for Main Event Magazine.”

“Oh why yes, Mr Dickhead, since you forced me to be made redundant, I did become the new Editor of Main Event Magazine.”

“Gee that’s great, are you going to be covering any of our events in your magazine? It’d be great if you could since I’m so terribly sorry I screwed you over with your payout and treated you so crappy as an employee.”

“Hmm..Mr Dickhead, it seems that if I had a cock, I’d have to ask you to suck it, but you may not have time as there’s a huge burning bridge near you.”

Ok perhaps it won’t happen quite that way, but come on, admit there’s some poetic justice in the world.

So yeah, congrats me. I start Monday and will be the coolest person I know. Cockiest too. Go on folks, tell me you love me and maybe I’ll send you a copy of the first issue when it comes out in June.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27

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