2005-03-15, 9:10 a.m.,

For a supporter of same sex marriage, for someone who thinks so strongly of relationship equality, how is it so easy to treat it�to treat us as a common date? A common girlfriend who can come and go.

If there were lawyers and papers to sign how very different it would be. How very much like a real 4 year marriage it would be. But when it suits to lessen this, when it suits to compromise your beliefs, when it suits you to have this mean so very little�..who am I to you?

October 12, the day of the big lie. The day you went through the motions pretending to be real. The day you stood in front of all our friends and family and promised to stay through the bitter and the sweet. Who knew it never really ever had to get bitter, only bland for you to run away?

So this is what you�ve become. This is what you�re life has led you up to. Making these decisions and compromising both of our lives without ever giving it a chance to work. Is this the life you dreamt of? One where you can saw what you like when it suits you at the moment and then keep that clause that you can take it all back whenever you like?

How can anyone believe you? How can you believe yourself?

Sixteen sleeping pills and a whole lot of vomit later and I�ll be just fine��who knew you could cry so hard it made you gag?

Her death was easier than this, because at least in death there�s an explanation.

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