2005-04-14, 12:25 p.m.,

There's a guy I work with, for the sake of the story let's call him Perry. Perry was probably the fat red haired kid in fifth grade with the acne and eczema who all the other kids picked on. Perry really hasn't changed much in twenty five years, but now he's a researcher for a financial publication and sits around with his mates talking about horror films and who his favourite fund manager is.

Yesterday I spent fifteen minutes talking to Perry about Shaun of the Dead. Why? Because it's his favourite movie and I had to do something...anything to keep myself from going mad yesterday as all my work is at the graphic designer. It went a bit like this:

Perry: Yeah Shaun of the Dead is a great flick...love zombie movies.
Me: Yeah it was pretty funny.
Perry: Yeah how about the part when XYZ happened.
Me: Yeah it was pretty funny.
Perry: No wait how about this part... (Gets out of his chair and acts out some scene from the movie to the dismay of the office mates sitting around him.)
Me: Hey that's pretty good. Funny.
Perry: I own it on DVD, you should come over and watch it sometime.
Me: Yeah, um maybe.
Perry: I love the part when blah blah blah happens....
Me: Yup
Perry: And then the guys says "blah blah blah"
Me: uh huh, look I better get back to my desk....
Perry: Yeah ok, hey if you want to come over and watch it let me know.
Me: Yeah, thanks.

This morning I arrived at my desk to find that Perry bought me coffee, then he invited me to lunch, but only after asking "Hey...Alex says you and your boyfriend broke up."

"Um....not exactly."

Alex sits over the partition from me....Alex and Perry are flatmates. Perry looked both confused and disappointed, but invited me to lunch anyway. I may have to break this boy's heart. But something tells me that Perry is used to disappointment.

Speaking of breakups....This is my key to making millions....I went and bought a skirt today and realised it was 2 dress sizes smaller than what I normally wear. Why? Because over the past month I've drop weight like a fiend. Here's how it works:

1. Get dumped and have your partner run off with your now ex best friend. This is a necessary step to avoid sitting home with ice cream and waiting for it to get better.
2. Survive on little more than fruit juice and really amazing bagels (see prior entry)
3. Find an absolutely perfect and moderately hyperactive girl to distract you from everything and anywhere else but the bedroom (or various other places)....

.....and viola. Two dress sizes down. Easy and VERY enjoyable.

This could make me a fortune.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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