2005-10-12, 9:52 a.m.,

Was meant to be working from home today and I have this meeting for this private jet company, but the weather is so rainy and grey they had to cancel the event part of it and I just have to go to the meeting part.

Then its back to the office this afternoon to sign off the film for the mag print and away it goes.

It's suiting that today is rainy grey and blah, it's the anniversary of the commitment ceremony. Not really sure how I feek about it really because it seems like it never happened on some level. I used to say that I'd never do it again, ever because it all just seemed like a huge lie and a big joke on me who swore to stick to it for good. Because thats what you do when you commit your life to someone right? Stick with them no matter how shitty it gets. I used to be really hurt that I made that promise in front of everyone and was made a fool of because I meant it and well, I guess she meant it for as long as it suited her to.

I said I would never do it again no mater if I met the person that I loved so much I couldnt breath around. Now I think maybe I would do it again with the right person because I shouldn't have to make myslef less of a partner to someone, I shouldn't have to compromise anything I would give them because it was taken from me before.

I dont know how I feel about same sex marriages. I reckon if people want to get married, they should, but know that when no one sees it as leagal, its a hell of a lot easier for that person to suddenly turn you from wife to girlfriend who can be dumped overnight.

So yes, maybe I would do it again, but only if it were legally recognised. It's too hard putting so much of yourself out there becaus eyou love someone to have it taken away from you as if it wasn't anything. ALl because some stupid government says its nothing really but a glorified partnership.

WHew...that was a lot of blabbering.

Yeah, kind of a weird day, but I'm in a better place and a better frme of mind to think about it now than I was 6 months ago.

And I'm happy and things are happening with the book and the mag.

Just wish it wasn't raining so much.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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