2005-10-12, 3:26 p.m.,

Just re-reading what I wrote this morning and I guess itís sort of surprises me when I get on a bit of a topic and go off...yeah

Anyway, I just thought perhaps it might be good to just re-read what Iíve written and get a bit of a perspective.

Itís weird, because I do feel like Iím in the right place right now. Like I donít feel like Iím biding my time waiting around for things to go the way I want them to. Things right now are actually quite perfect, despite the heartache and drama it took to get here. But I guess thatís the same with all things. Its take a lot of bull shit to get what you really want.

So yeah, swift kick in my complacent ass and Iím working really hard on book number two, the next issue of the magazine Iím really happy with. Iím launching the book as son as I come back from overseas in January and itíll be great. Despite the fact that I worked out that Iíll need to sell about 2,000 copies with the royalty Iím getting to break even.

It doesnít matter, Iím not really in it for the money, more for the experience of it. And to prove to myself that I can, that it isnít just bullshit and that when I say Iím doing something Iíll do it.

My girl is going to China on Sunday. Iím so proud of her to take all tis on. Weíve been talking about getting a house and doing the renovation thing as well, scoping out prices and locations and properties. Itís pretty exciting. I so wish I could go with her to China. Thereís very little Iíd enjoy more right now than to just spend some time with her and just yeah, enjoy her and everything about her that makes us work well together.

The final edit of my book is going through as we speak, to be completed by the second week of November. Itís so weird to see it all reworked and set up for print, looking at cover designs and yeah, itís almost too real. Too marketable and sometimes I think I could just take it back and not market her and who she was as a product, but...I donít know maybe Iím being silly.
This first book is my baby. Six years of my life into it and well, letís just say I donít have quite as strong of an emotional attachment to the second and itís far far easier to write.

Yeah, so thereís the clarification, for myself, for what its worth.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
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