2005-11-28, 12:01 p.m.,

Rainy weekends....

Friday and Saturday was a barrage of text messages from friends who were out calling us calling us to come in the wee hours of the morning but we had other plans.

We spent nearly all day on Sunday in the kitchen cooking for our dinner party last night and I got to have a nice evening with two friends I haven�t really had a lot of time to chat with over the last year and it was so good to see both of them.

I�ve realised lately how very little things change and how very little people change. This past week I received an email from Anie telling me how she and some friends of hers have started this business in NYC and she sent me the link to their website, which looks amazing, but when I clicked on the photo and bio for her, she just didn�t look at all like my Anie, but then I realised she hasn�t. That�s who she was all along and it�s all she wanted was to be a cosmopolitan NYC girl who was very much like she is in that photo and it saddened me to think she is never going to be that girl ever again and most people won�t know who she can be and how much beauty and light radiates from her when she isn�t covered in all that pseudo �earthy because it�s trendy� bullshit.

And I had a wander through diaries I haven�t read in eons to find much of the same from people. People in love with images and words they think are real, people choking on sycophantic adoration that�s as heavy as velvet. I just smile because I know. I know what�s for show and what�s real and I guess that puts me one up, but who�s counting?

I reckon our rainy solitude between us doesn�t make us loners. It makes a realists. Loners aren�t alone because they want to be anti-social. I think they�ve tried so hard to be one of them and continually found everyone else around them disappointing. I think we find people in general a disappointment. Which is fine really, as long as there�s the two of us.

Long busy week ahead. I�m finally getting my visa stamp for my passport this week. Very anti-climatic after everything. And I have a Christmas Party on Friday that should be interesting to say the least.

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