2005-11-30, 1:26 p.m.,

Last night while writing a bit, my laptop was doing some tricky manoeuvres just to prove it could I suppose. I nearly thought my computer was going to do a "sad Mac" on me and *poof* there would go my book and the next book and all the notes I've written for it. To avoid the panic that was quickly setting in, my girl and I practiced the “sad Mac face”

Looks something like this:

Not easy to do. So I was reading about sad Mac online and found this:

“A sad face? Oh, come ON... Millions of dollars in development and testing, and all Apple would show the end user for all that was a SAD FACE? Where was the debug output? Where was the amazingly delightful obscure esoteria upon which geeks like myself fed their souls? I wanted to see something like...
WARNING: Program Halt in Execute Process X:233&# Widget WuggaWugga Module v32.144c. You must enter Debug Mode with C:800 emulation to correct problem, or contact customer support so we can mock you and call you a weenie.

But no. A sad face. You've got to be kidding me. It was insulting to geek computer users everywhere. It basically told you that you WEREN'T SMART ENOUGH to look directly at the error code.
Happy Computer Thingee faw down, go boom. Bad things happened. Look at the hand puppet! LOOK AT THE PUPPET! Shiny things!”

I nearly fell of my chair laughing. But yeah, I felt the same way. Becoming a bit of a computer geek by default because my beautiful one claims the title herself, I too was frustrated that it wouldn’t let me see the error message, just gave me a flash to let me know there was one and “faw down and went boom.”

EEK!! Cult lady just called again. I really wish I had caller ID on my phone.

So yes, here’s a story:

About a thousand years ago the night sky looked very different and the Greeks concept of star signs actually incorporated 13 of them, not the traditional zodiac 12. The 13th was Ophiuchus, the snake bearer. The sign lasted only for 4 days and if you were born on those four days now you’d be considered a Scorpio. This particular sign’s most prominent trait is manipulation and deceit. And I knew someone who was born then. But the earth isn’t stable and its axis moves and these four days didn’t help the 12 month/12 sign balance, so it was dropped. But a lot of psychics still believe its a very important sign. And it moved gradually over the years as the earth axis wobbles. Right now if you weer born between Nov 30 and Dec 17 you are an Ophiuchus star sign.

And on the topic of deception, I went to a psychic awhile ago and ha asked me with regards to max and Chantal who the third party was, said there was a messy triangle between them, not including me. I assumed it was Chantal and unresolved feelings for Trish and forgot about it. But over the past few days as I have been diary wandering and came across lady velvet’s I knew right away who her words were for because I used to write them myself. Caught up in the cyclical love of whoever sings praises the loudest. Seduced with lyrical and poetical words when she only likes the sound, not the meanings behind them.

And at first I felt betrayed because I knew that for the last year or so, it probably never ended. And I was a naïve idiot for thinking it would.

Then I felt vindication because I know what Chantal doesn’t and it makes me the wiser for it.

Then relief that it won’t be my heart any longer enduring the hurt of this over and over again, mending it up to have it torn before it heals. And that I now have more than I could ever want or need.

But after a night of sleep I just feel sadness that she will never know love when always distracted and looking over it for what’s next. And it’s a shame because she deserves it, even though she doesn’t think so.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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