2005-12-05, 9:42 a.m.,

Speaking to my mother this morning, I realised that my Grandmother has been dead for two years. It was just before our big trip overseas two years ago that she died only a few weeks before I made it home to be with my family. They all made this wreath thing with these red painted wooden hearts with every one of my grandmom�s children�s names and their kids on it, plus one heart for my grandfather and one for all the great grandchildren. There were over 50 of them.

Now that my office is outside the city, I walk about 20 minutes from the train station each way. Which is good really because it�s like going for a long walk everyday. That and the gym and boxing classes and my bum is slowly disappearing. Most of my pants now sit so low on my hips that I walk on them. I will not complain about this. The walk is actually pretty nice. It�s a no traffic shopping arcade and there�s lots to look at. I walk over this bridge that goes over the Parramatta river and the shame of it is that this particular portion of the river looks like melted milk chocolate. And it flows like it too. I can only image what�s in it.

Work this morning is a very quiet place. I think after the company Christmas party everyone is too afraid to speak to people. Seems like every christmas party everyone gets drunk and decides that my lesbianism is a novelty. I get more questions and confessions from drunken colleagues that anything. Of course I now work in a company where I�m not the only dyke. This girl I work with is very closeted (only about 4 or 5 of us knew) so as far as anyone here is concerned, it�s just me. However on Friday she got drunk and told one of the sales guys she had a girlfriend, then spent the rest of the party drunk off her ass walking around to everyone going �oh my god, I can�t believe I told him I was gay.� Thereby telling everyone else. It�s nearly 10 a.m. And she hasn�t arrived yet.

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