2006-01-12, 11:04 a.m.,

All that writing about Hawaii in my entry yesterday and today's humid and grey and suddenly it seems so much easier to pack up and head for the sunshine. Oh how travel makes you restless.

A friend of mine, her sister committed suicide over the Christmas holiday. I can�t believe I haven�t mentioned it yet. I met her sister a handful of times, really great girl but I knew her sister�s girlfriend much better. She used to work with me at my old job ages ago. I feel so bad for her and yet I know what she must be feeling to lose a girlfriend. All that regret over every argument, everything you said that you can�t unsay, that constant longing for just one more hug, one more kiss, one more I love you. It�s a killer. And it take nothing sort of forever to let it go. But before that it turns you into a person who takes every second to hug the person you love, kiss them incessantly, tell them repeatedly how much you adore them, perhaps suffocatingly so because in the back of your head you know the very real possibility that it might be the last time you see them.

And lately I�m worried about another friend who�s packing up her life and moving back to something she might not ever be able to fix. Seems that she�s told herself a lot of lies over time to get through it all and now she�s forgotten what�s the truth and what she told herself to make it easier. She�s pretty confused and its hard to not be there for her.

Other than that, I�m on deadline for the next issue and can�t keep my head on one thing today. The bottom of my screen has nine windows minimised because I open something, start working on it, lose interest and open something else. Hello attention deficit.

And I have a notebook full of scribbles of me trying to work out what�s going to be on the back cover of the book. I�m trying, but just cant think of the right thing to say. Maybe my best bet is to have someone who has read the finished product write what they think the book is about and I can work from there. What I have is just not right and maybe it�s stage fright, I don�t know. But the good folks around me are getting quite discouraged that I�ve got a half printed book in my hands and am letting it collect dust. But the cover image looks nice. Must scan it so you folks will know what to look for on the shelves. Assuming of course that I get off my ass and write the back cover.

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