2006-03-22, 12:09 p.m.,

This morning when I left for work it was still dark. And when I leave work now, it�s dark. This my friends is why I hate winter. Surly taking natural sunlight away from people is considered cruel and unusual punishment. I don�t know exactly how the laws work in Australia, but in the US we definitely have laws against this.

I was awake most of the night because of another nightmare. I�m getting them every night now. I think tonight I must drug myself to sleep if I knew I would still be able to get up at the crack of dawn. These dreams are so violent and most of the time I�m not in them, just watching. It�s got to be a sign of anxiety and stress. Nic asked me this morning at 4 while I was tossing and turning trying to fall back asleep what it was about and I didn�t want to tell her. The violence of them embarrasses me sometimes because I�m not a violent person.

So I stayed awake thinking that the stress is causing me to go mad and get no sleep and I�m far too busy for my own good and perhaps I should go to a therapist. Then I started worrying that my health insurance wouldn�t cover a therapist and I would have to upgrade it, then I was worrying about how expensive that would be..seriously, its madness. I thought that I wouldn�t have time to go away to Byron in 2 weeks, but I think getting away is exactly what would do me good.

Yesterday I was in the car with my friend laura and she was talking about a guy we both know and how he needs a partner but has no time for one. And she said �every relationship has a manager and a star and he is definitely the star.� It�s just got me thinking how very true that is.

Last night Nicole and I went to play tennis and the court was booked so we found this dodgy back ally graffiti wall to hit the ball back and forth against. Side street ally-way tennis. It was actually pretty fun.

I just cut my finger awhile ago, it�s finally stopped bleeding but now its a bit sore. And the bugs bunny band aid isn�t doing me any favours typing.

Prev, Next

Diaryrings: