2006-03-22, 12:09 p.m.,

This morning when I left for work it was still dark. And when I leave work now, itís dark. This my friends is why I hate winter. Surly taking natural sunlight away from people is considered cruel and unusual punishment. I donít know exactly how the laws work in Australia, but in the US we definitely have laws against this.

I was awake most of the night because of another nightmare. Iím getting them every night now. I think tonight I must drug myself to sleep if I knew I would still be able to get up at the crack of dawn. These dreams are so violent and most of the time Iím not in them, just watching. Itís got to be a sign of anxiety and stress. Nic asked me this morning at 4 while I was tossing and turning trying to fall back asleep what it was about and I didnít want to tell her. The violence of them embarrasses me sometimes because Iím not a violent person.

So I stayed awake thinking that the stress is causing me to go mad and get no sleep and Iím far too busy for my own good and perhaps I should go to a therapist. Then I started worrying that my health insurance wouldnít cover a therapist and I would have to upgrade it, then I was worrying about how expensive that would be..seriously, its madness. I thought that I wouldnít have time to go away to Byron in 2 weeks, but I think getting away is exactly what would do me good.

Yesterday I was in the car with my friend laura and she was talking about a guy we both know and how he needs a partner but has no time for one. And she said ďevery relationship has a manager and a star and he is definitely the star.Ē Itís just got me thinking how very true that is.

Last night Nicole and I went to play tennis and the court was booked so we found this dodgy back ally graffiti wall to hit the ball back and forth against. Side street ally-way tennis. It was actually pretty fun.

I just cut my finger awhile ago, itís finally stopped bleeding but now its a bit sore. And the bugs bunny band aid isnít doing me any favours typing.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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