2006-04-07, 1:14 p.m.,

Seems that I'm rather emotionally ambushed lately when I least expect it.

Yesterday at work, Ií m just sitting at my desk with my little itunes going and headphone thingy in.. typing away and suddenly Joni Mitchell's river comes on and I'm hit with this memory of being in that back room and trying desperately to have a conversation that neither of us were able to articulate. So it simply stayed at lying there, cuddled up and in tears.

Itís unfair how these things slap you like that when youíre minding your own business.

Then it all got worse, when I have about 6 thousand things to do and my boss telling me that he expects the same results from my mag as he does all the others. Yes fair enough, but all of the other 7 mags have anywhere from 3-8 people working on them . I have 1. Just me. And for the sake of editorial integrity I am not allowed to sell ads so where the money is meant to come from I donít know. I have suggested a heap of good people and literally handed them someone capable of doing the job but they are too busy sitting around with their thumbs up their arses complaining it takes forever.

Anyway, I came home yesterday afternoon tired, work weary a little stressed because Iím leaving very very early tomorrow morning for a trip I hadnít even packed for because I have a massive backlog of laundry... and very emotional, feeling very alone because nic is also so busy with her work I didnít want to put all my crap on her. And as soon as nic walked in, groceries in hand to make an amazing dinner, she just made it better with her silly antics and lots of kisses and cuddles. It all felt better so much quicker when she walked through the door.

And tomorrow Iím on a plane, Sunday morning at 5 am I am on a hot air balloon. Kinda freaking out about nothing between me and the ground but a bloody basket. At least planes are solid metal and reinforced steel.

If I survive until Monday apparently Iím swimming with dolphins. Thatís only if I survive the flying hamper.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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