2006-05-17, 11:44 a.m.,

I think I'm the worlds biggest packrat. I hang on to everything, although I've gotten much better at it over the years the one thing I still have problems with is clothes. I have enough clothes to dress everyone in china. Seriously. And the thing is I really only wear about 30% of them. It�s not like I spend a fortune on clothes, I don�t. I just hoard them and attach personal emotions to articles of clothing that I can�t bear to let them go.

I have pieces of clothing that were Abby�s simply because they were hers. Clothes she wore when she was 16 things that no human has worn in 15 years. I have a little black velvet dress from a holiday party I went to when I was about 14. Like I will ever wear it again. It�s about the size of my thigh, but it brings back good memories to look at it.

And now that I�m losing weight, a vast amount of my clothes are so big. Really It�s baffling to realise how big my ass must have been when just last week I was so shocked that I had to show my girl the new trick I could do. Pull my jeans off without undoing them at all. And these are jean I bought in December that fit then. 5 months....although I don�t think I look much thinner.

So this weekend I�m buying clothes that fit me on the condition that I�m going into my room with a garbage bag and making a sizable donation to the good will shop. Everything must go , no matter what emotions or sentiments surround them. Abby�s clothes that make me remember the times she wore them, my teenage holiday party dress, the skirts that aren�t really fashionable anymore but are made of really nice fabric that I always say I�m going to make into a bag and never ever do, the commitment ceremony dress that makes me feel like I�ve swallowed a baseball every time I see it, the frilly sundresses that never get worn, the clothes that have tiny stains on them that I think I should hold onto in case I ever need clothes to paint in so get dirty in...seriously, it�s a problem.

Everything gone.

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