2006-05-23, 10:26 a.m.,

Last night I had a bit of a headache, took some tablets, it went away, I went to sleep. Easy.

Then about 3:30 this morning I woke up feeling like someone was trying to chisel into my head with an ice pick on the left side up towards the top of my head.

I used to get these little pulses of one off pains there ages ago. They were killer pains but only hurt for literally a second then gone.I went to an acupuncturist and after a few session they went away and never came back.

But This one went on and on. I got up, loaded up on meds and waited about 2 hours restless desperately trying to sleep. Then I had this really fucked up dream. More fucked up than my normals which can be pretty unnerving. It involved my death and a drag queen. Yeah go ahead and laugh, but it was freaky.

I was doing some research on the whole childhood legend that if you die in your dream you die for real, which obviously isn't the case because I have dreams where I die almost monthly. But here's what I found out. Witnessing your own death or seeing your own corpse in a dream is meant to be so psychologically traumatic that most people i.e. "sane" people I suppose have a defense mechanism where their body wakes them right at the moment of or just before death.

I guess when people (like me) lose that protective filter, we're fucked. You never get it back.

That said, I'm terrifired of drag queens today and decided to stay at home and work from home. Not because I think I'll see a drag queen at work (far far more likely to see them out my front door in this neck of the woods) but because I'm bloody exhausted and I have to be in the city for an event type thngy tonight anyway.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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