2006-10-06, 4:04 p.m.,

Busy weekend as I'm going to Spring Carnival at the races for this event hosted by Marriott so I get to get all frocked up and put fancy schmancy things in my hair and go to the horse races.

Staying with the girl for most of the weekend at her friends house which is gorgeous and feels so at home with the two of us there. We took my dog to play with our friends two puppies and they were all loud and noisy and playing and kept us awake all last night.

Fels rang me today and as much as I'm trying to keep my friendship with her its so hard because I know she's really hurt. Wen I told her about the girl she did one of these "but you said you didn't want a girlfriend" sort of things. And I said that because I knew if we had ever let things happen it would have been so tangled and she was (and is) so good of a friend that I knew I would have hurt her.

But this one (my dear Ms Hale--the girl) had come out of nowhere and wasn't my type and I never ever thought I would like her like this. I can't explain that to her. But when she rings we chat and she asks me how my girlfriend is, I don't know if it's a dig, but I can hear the hurt in her voice.

She asked me not to introduce her just as she asked me not to tell her nicole's name.

Seems I hurt her anyway and I've got all day Saturday at the races to get drunk and bet on horses with her in a very corporate hospitality way.

I'm sure she'll look beautiful and be charming and I'll feel like shit for hurting her little bi-girl heart but I can't feel bad for being happy with this one, particularly when I never saw it coming.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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