2006-12-06, 11:30 a.m.,

Very weird night last night. Weird day too actually which probably just built everything up to last night.

I spent all day yesterday stressing out about everything I have to do and all the people around me who are definitely giving me the shits. Needy people who cant fucking take care of themselves emotionally. Yesterday I was getting it from everywhere. I have one particular friend who is hell bent on spending his life alone but complains about it incessantly then makes me feel guilty for not spending enough time with him just the two of us because I have a partner and am generally busy otherwise. I’ve had about 2 weeks of him driving me up the wall regarding what my new years plan was and then he lays this massive guilt trip on me because I’m spending it with the girl and he’ll be alone...seriously its that and so many other things that make him almost exactly like a high maintenance girlfriend.

Anyway there’s that and a girl at work who is constantly miserable and going on about how everyone expects too much from her and how she can never live up to people’s expectations of her and she’s destined to be unhappy and never satisfied for the rest of her life...yesterday after about two years of hearing her bullshit everyday I nearly threw something very heavy at her head. I hate people who are so content sitting back feeling sorry for themselves when they never ever have any intention of getting of their asses and doing something useful with themselves. I suppose it’s easier when your that fucking emotionally lazy to sit around “poor me-ing” yourself and letting everyone fawn over you reassuring you how wonderful and misunderstood you are. Anyway, people tend to bring their shit to me because I tend to mother and coddle them for awhile—now I’m over it and it makes me really hate them.

I have a heap of work things and home things I need to do and was meant to catch up with Nic last night but she was having a shit day too and I was all too keen to have a domestic night in. So Nic cancels out, my girl rings me to see how my night is going, I tell her that I’m not having dinner with my frend as planned and am doing a domestic one and go off on my merry way making dinner. Around 8:15 I get a call from Nic saying she’s going to pop in and say hello which is fine because I’m there and yeah..whatever. Literally 3 minutes later I get a knock on the door to find the girl had decided she missed me and came to mine to surprise me. Typically a very pleasant surprise but I immediately text nic to tell her the girl was there so she wouldn’t feel weird. I explain to the girl that Nic is potentially on her way and I think from her perspective it looked really suspicious. She immediately asks me what the deal is when I told her that Nic and I weren’t going to be seeing each other that night. I think it just looked liked I had lied to her so I could plan to have her at mine.

Poor Nic rocks up and it’s so tense and weird and she basically pops in for a hello and a dvd from me and we’re in the kitchen and the girls in the other room and Nic is mouthing her apologies and I’m all stressed that if it sounds quiet it’ll look dodgy, meanwhile we’ve both got these massive grins trying so hard not to laugh because the whole situation is so outrageous in general that neither of us know what to do but hold in nervous grins amist the chaos.

Anyway, it’s settled now and the girl realises it was just a case of bad timing for a surprise, meanwhile after Nic goes I just have this panic attack because the whole day has been so emotionally exhausting then work stress and health crap an oh yes, my auntie overseas had brain surgery yesterday and I was on the phone with my family looking after them and then the thought that the girl might not think I was being completely honest with her...well it was all a bit too much and I had a bit of a cry and a bit of a panic attack and this morning woke up very sleepy and puffy eyed.

It’s all good now though.. On the girl front anyway...I still want to throw something heavy at said co-workers head.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27

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