2006-12-13, 10:58 a.m.,

The past two nights I've had these weird nightmarish sort of dreams. Both Iím sure stemming from the Evil Damien thing which I havenít really given much thought to lately but I sort of at times feel like a bit of a dog on a chain where I can forget about it for such a long time but wandering too far away from it just yanks me back. Last nightís in particular I had a dream that my sister and I were in this house which was actually Abbyís childhood house and this delivery guy rocked up to drop off food. My sister took it into the living room and the guy just sort of hung around the kitchen asking me for a glass of water, when my back was turned to get the glass of water I heard him take a kitchen knife from the block and he was immediately behind me, knife cutting into my back, hand on my arm telling me that he was going to kill both me and my sister. And of course, like all good nightmares I lost my ability to yell out to her but I could feel this warm wetness on my back and I knew it was blood and all I could remember thinking was that it was ok if I just died as long as my sister could get away while he was killing me. I just remember thinking I needed to make sure my death took a long time to give her a chance at getting away.

When I woke I was so achy and not so much frightened as I was just sad and really exhausted.

Anyway, I imagine Iíll sleep better tonight as Iíll have the girl with me. Sheís got her job interview today and Iím so excited for her. Sheís done so well getting so far, Iím so proud of her.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27

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