2006-12-18, 12:14 p.m.,

We had our company holiday party on Friday which pretty much consists of everyone leaving the office at 11 to travel to the boat wharf and we go on a 5 hour lunch cruise where there is literally NOTHING to do but look at Sydney harbour, eat lunch and drink. Which is ok for maybe the first hour and a half, after that it becomes painful. Seriously, everyone drinks too much and all the middle aged salesmen crack onto the younger girls in the office, the older ladies who do accounting act like they've all gone wild by rolling up their polyester pantlegs to wade in the spa "oh..look hazel from accounts is going wild an crazy and getting into the spa..." varicose veins bulging everywhere and she reeks of bourbon...which is pretty much how she smells every other day anyway.

Then as the only ďgayĒ in the office of about 30 people (we had one other who resigned and has left me to carry the torch alone) I get the table full of drinks who want to tell you about every other gay person they know, want to hear your ďcoming out storyĒ want to know how your parents feel about it, want to tell you all about their drunken curiosities of whether or not they could so it before giving you a ďbest mateĒ sort of hug around the shoulders while they tell you how great you are and how they donít care if your a lesbian because youíre fab....um..thanks fuckwits.

A few hours go by and you get the triply drunk middle aged drunk sales guy who says ďhe reckons he could straighten me out.Ē No thank you.

Friday kicked on to the pub where the girl was gracious enough to come meet me and after a few texts from Maxie telling me she hopes Iím well and is thinking of me fondly, I was pretty much over the whole night of hanging out with people I didnít particularly want to be around. Thinking of me fondly...I suppose that means remembering that we actually had fun together at one stage ages ago but neither of us are those people anymore so canít really determine what to make of that. Other than I guess itís nice to know she sometimes thinks nice things about me. Or at least thinks nice things about the person I was to her years ago before it all became unbelievably fucked up. Which is nice I suppose because when I think about her itís mostly about the later bits rather than the early years, I guess because the earlier years seem so much like a joke in retrospect and the later more of a true representation of what the relationship really was.

Regardless after not being able to tolerate much more of work banter and drunken co-workers, the girl and I headed out with some friends to kick on elsewhere and by about 11:30 all I could think about after a good solid 12 hours of drinking was a hot shower and my bed.

Saturday was much the same with a Christmas party that consisted of an afternoon of drinking well into the evening and by Sunday when the girl and I had run all over the city holiday shopping and such, the thought of another drink is literally the lat thing I want. Itís a rough time of year really and itís sop easy to see why its the hardest time of year for many people. Iím really looking forward to Christmas this year, itíll be the best one Iíve had in awhile I think. I wonít be bogged down with travelling home for frigid cold where Iím away from my partner like last year and I will get to spend a sunny relaxing Aussie holiday with the girl, which is pretty much exactly what I need right now.

Two working days this week and Iím catching up on everything at home and all the friends I havenít had a chance to see lately. And I must finish this holiday shopping crap.

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27

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