2003-08-04, 10:00 p.m.,

Tomorrow my love leaves for Melbourne for 2 days, so I'll be home alone all my my little self wondering what to do. Isn't it tragic when I worry about having one night alone? Really I'm not so much worried about entertaining myself for the evening as much as I'm worried about falling asleep in a huge empty bed.

Today I was thinking about how our views of ourselves and the world's view of who we are and how those views are always so different. And then you have this horrifying realization that what if you are wrong and the world is right. Maxie and I were kind of talking about this a few days ago, like someone in your past saying something to you and you blew it off then, but years later someone else sees that same quality in you and you think "why?" what makes them see that? And you consider for just a second that maybe you're the one that isn't seeing properly.

I dunno....I don't know about lots of things. Maxie's riding crop came with this "catalogue" of um..devices and we were looking at it for a bit of a chuckle and odd curiosity I guess. And I thinkt he lesbian world would be disappointed to know that many of those gadgets seemed, well..scary....

Perhaps being an old fashioned girl isn't such a bad thing after all.

Booking tickets tomorrow.....yay!

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


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