2004-03-05, 2:41 p.m.,

I was saying to Maxine last night that Abby would've been 28 just this last wednesday. And it's funny because it seems you can look at most people and imagine them as what they'll be like older. With her, I can't imagine an old lady, or even middle aged woman. It's like she was never meant to be older than 24, so she'll stay that way or younger forever.

All this book writing is making me nostalgic. My boss has a photo of her daughter all dressed up for a 50's costume party at school and this morning it made me think about Halloween and being 13,dressed up in a poodle skirt and saddle shoes for my last trick or treat. I remember how we dressed alike and she held my wrist as we walked around and I just watched her long ponytail swish as she walked and even then on some level I must have known I loved her.

How Maxie puts up with my continual brooding is an absolute grace. I love so many things about her, especially how good she is to me, how understanding and gentle. And not to mention...what an incredible shag...

p.s. I know you're reading this and I know you're smiling.

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