2002-07-06, 11:15 p.m.,

Just realized that in all of my swan song posts about Anie, i may never have told the entire story behind our relationship, so here it is in a nutshell (very very condensed version):

Met her my 2nd year of college when we started waitressing together at this restaurant that was just opening and instantly fell insanely in love with her. She ha dthis boyfriendthat treated her like crap and well, wasnt interested in anyone but him so i never said a word. We stayed best friends for 2 years and i adored her immemsely. She backpacks across europe invites me and i dont go cuz i'm finishing college. After a few month i meet uyp with her in amsterdam and the minute i arrive she's an entirely differnt person. The first night there she and I and her roomate christina go out, do far to many drugs and end up sleeping together (all 3 of us) then christina leaves and goes about dating some guy the rest of the time i'm there leavign me with anie for the nex to 2 weeks. I'm completely in love and have everything in the world and then after 2 weeks when its time to go she asks me to stay there and continue backpacking with her. I had my intership and nothng left of my degree and said i couldnt so off i went. Net thing i know she dets insanely weird (the threesome experience was not only the frist time she'd done anythign like that, but the frist time she'd ever been with a girl) she freaks out, says I'm not ready to do this. Ends it. Then for months after i start getting these "I made a mistake, but i'm dating a boy now and i cant do anythign about it" emails. I guess i didnt respond the way she wanted me to, because we were both dating other people and now, nothing. I call and she talks to me, is all excited and goes on and on about how terrible she is for never calling, never returning emails, etc. I get maybe 1 email a month....It kills me and i cant chase her around forever trying to keep a frindship. I gues it just got weird. Maxie and i went to see her in NY and she didnt act weird around maxie. I dunno, i'll never know...

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- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
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