2003-04-20, 11:27 p.m.,

I had a really eventful and exciting evening at work tonight which in short involved a very drunk and disorderly women I had to ask to leave. Finallay after she wouldn't go when not only I but the owners of the cafe asked her to we had to call the cops, this upset her very much when they showed and she had no trouble expressing that in a manner only drunk people can properly do. SO I got to come home a bit early from work tonight. It was actually nice to get out of there, I didn't want to be there on Easter anyway.

Happy Bunny day everyone.

In just two weeks it'll be three years since Abby's been gone. I should be gettign an email from her ex girlfriend and her mother shortly doing the "It's the anniversary, just checking in to say I'm greiving with you." email. I've always been a bit bitter about it really, getting the email from her ex to check in. I mean she's a nice enough girl and all, but they dated for 4 months before abby died and soemtimes I feel like she has no right to speak as if she knew her at all the way I did. I'm just being resentful and possessive, but that's all I've got really. Last night I woke up thinking about her, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and when I opened the door to walk back out in the hallway to return to bed I just knew I knew that I would see her standing there. As if in my sleep induced stupor i can make it that she hasn't left at all, that her ghost is still here and I can see ehr anytime I want. I need to stop fucking with my own head like that really, but sometimes I just can't help it. I'm addicted to missing her I think.

Some people have smoking, some drinking, some drugs, I'm addicted to the memory of a dead girl I loved more than my soul. There's gotta be a 12 step program for that somewhere.

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