2003-11-24, 12:12 p.m.,

Last night I couldn't sleep. I kept having little panic attacks in my sleep and all these weird freaky nightmares and I'd jolt awake. This morning I had the worst headache and I was so groggy and tired my limbs felt weighted. I stayed home and thought I'd stay in a bit and make an appointment with my laser accupunturist (who is doing a really good job curing my head pains and cracking jaw, by the way.) But he has odd hours and I thought if I was going to stay home I'd at least get another appointment in before we go away.

I called my mom and she was crying, saying that last night (while I was having my nocturnal panic attacks) my grandmother died and was revivied 4 times. 4. My mom and grandpa went to have thanksgiving with her and after my grandpa left, my mom went into her room and she started having seizures, bad ones and her heart would race, then stop, race then stop and the nurse told my mom she was certain my grandmom would go. So she asked my mom who she wanted them to call and gave her a call button and told her to sit with my grandmom and push the button when she died. My grandmom in her near unconsciousness asked my mom if it was ok to die. Asked her like she needed my mom's permission. My mom told her if she was ready to go, then she should go. And my grandmom's heart stopped for about 4 minutes, my mum called the nurse in and everyone was just arriving, then she woke up.

Tough old irish ladies, we're so stubborn.

Now I'm waiting for her to call back and say this time she didn't revive.

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