2006-03-14, 11:02 a.m.,

Don't know what it is about today that's got me on the verge of tears, but I think I'll credit to the following:

I�m absolutely exhausted and the medication they put me on, which is meant to kick start my thyroid and give me energy is a load of bollocks.

We still haven�t found a suitable sales person for the magazine and one of the only two writers I�m comfortable enough to allow touch my mag has just decided she wants to start an importing business with her new husband importing shoes from Brazil.

Then this morning I walked out of the house and got a huge inhale of Jasmine flowers from the side of our house and I felt like I�d just swallowed my own heart.

And to top it all off my sister has decided to get married in October, which should be good news, but I just went home for Christmas and paid about 2500 to do so, and my brother is getting married in may and I�ll be doing the same thing then. Now October too and my family must thin I make a fortune at work because I travel so much but what they don�t get is that I don�t pay for most of my airfares. It�s the one and only perk of working for a business travel orientated magazine. So yeah, somehow they think I have enough money to pay for three flights to New York at $2500 each time, plus have the vacation time to do it. But missing my sister�s wedding will devastate me.

And I don�t want to make her wedding date about me and make her plan it around when I�m available, but yeah....doesn�t look like it�s going to happen. Unless of course I sell my first born child and a kidney or two to American Express.

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