2006-11-07, 10:50 p.m.,

I can't sleep tonight and it see,s so quiet here in the house because I guess I've gotten so used to having her here I sort of forget sometimes that she doesnt live here. And when she goes home those fews days a week I remember what things were like before her.

This is quiet possibly, particularly after the events of the weekend (another entry entirely)that left me sore, bruised and missing her...but its quite possibly the most intense relationship I've ever encountered. Physically, mentally, emotionaly....

It's a very brutal love and I mean that in a non violent but immensly violating sort of way. I can't explain it. But I'm freaking out a bit tonight because I crave her and because I've never seen myself respond to someone or have someone reapond to me in quite this way. ANd I'm afraid of how much this will hurt if it isn't as complete as it could be. Because the intensity of it all right now could kill me in a very blissful and painful sort of way.

Prev, Next

- - 2007-06-08
My absenteeism - 2007-05-24
Defining Yourself - 2007-03-19
odd sort of flatness - 2007-03-06
Welcome Home - 2007-02-27


newest entry older entries guestbook email me diaryland evilgnome designs